The door chimed as it opened and a whole lot of blue feathers swept inside.
“Oh Fiizziiie,” Blitzø sang, sticking his head into the back room where his coworker/childhood bestie/not really boyfriend but close enough was taking a little sit-down break to massage his thighs where the prosthetics always bit in a little too hard, “That giant rooster you have a crush on just walked in.” Sure, Blitzø would f*ck that lust demon in a split second. But at least he wasn’t puss* enough to be developing gooey feelings about it.
Fizz’s tail straightened in alarm. “Shut the f*ck up, he could hear you!”
“He’s all the way on the other side of the store,” Blitzø snorted, waving a hand dismissively. “Besides, I don’t think he’d mind. I’ve watched you two flirt for weeks now, there’s no way you’re the only one catching feels.”
“Ugh.” Fizz climbed to his feet, limping a little as he joined Blitzø back out in the main part of the store. “You’re one to talk. How’s it going with that owl, anyways?”
Asmodeus’s face lit up as he spotted the imps emerging from the back room and he waved. They waved back, Blitzø with a suggestive twist of his lips and Fizzarolli with a bashful blush.
Back to the matter at hand. “Pfft, Stolas? You know, he’s just a thirsty bitch who’s never been treated right in bed before. And I-” Blitzø linked his fingers together and stretched, cracking multiple joints at once “-am more than happy to oblige.”
Fizz rolled his eyes. “Yeah sure, and that’s all it is. No feelings there at all, right?”
Blitzø flushed. “He’ll realize I’m not the only guy out there eventually. And he’s probably monogamous. So it doesn’t matter.” He nudged Fizz in the side before he could argue. “Look alive, Ozzie at 3 o'clock.”
“That’s 9 o’clock, asshole,” Fizz mumbled, elbowing him back. He stood up straighter as Ozzie approached the counter. “Heeeyyya big guy! Whatcha checkin out today?”
Asmodeus’s smile was a blinding neon green. “Well I was hoping to check out a cute little froggie, if he’s available.” He let a bundle of high-end pink and lime green silk ropes fall to the counter, along with a shiny ball gag that Fizz had recommended as one of his favorites a few visits ago, still in its package. “And these too, please.”
Fizz laughed nervously, one cybernetic hand gripping Blitzø’s tightly behind the counter. “Of course! Looks like a fun night.”
Blitzø sighed, rolling his eyes. “Ugh, you two are impossible! He’s available. Take him out to dinner. Tie him up real nice and have him back by noon tomorrow, that’s when his shift starts.”
“Blitz,” Fizzarolli hissed, face going dark with embarrassment, “Stop it, he didn’t mean it like that-”
“Actually,” Asmodeus leaned forward, expression the picture of hopefulness, “that was exactly how I meant it. If you’re okay with that?”
“If-” Fizz’s mouth hung open a moment before morphing into a wide toothy grin. “I am more than okay with that. What time, where are we going, what should I wear?”
While the two of them enthusiastically hashed out the details for their date, Blitzø disentangled his hand from Fizz’s and scanned Ozzie’s purchases. The other two didn’t even seem to notice the beeps.
“Ooookay, your total is $62.53, now will that be cash or card?” Blitzø broke through their conversation with no regret because hey, he was an asshole and he wanted to get paid.
Ozzie handed over his card without pausing the conversation. But when he’d finally gotten all the details smoothed out, his purchases in a bag, and Fizz’s number, he looked over at Blitzø before heading out. “I hope you’ll join us sometime Blitz, sounds like we could definitely have some fun together.” And then he winked and walked out, leaving Blitzø the last one with a blush on his cheeks.
The moment the door swung shut behind him, Fizz grabbed Blitzø by the shoulders and shook him aggressively. “You dick! Why would you do that?”
“Wha- I can’t help it if everyone wants a piece of this! Besides, we’ve had plenty of threesomes, I don’t see why-”
Fizz slapped him upside the head. “Not that part! Why would you tell him to take me on a date?! That could have gone so badly and destroyed my chances completely!”
“Buut it didn’t,” Blitzø giggled. He always got a bit giddy and loopy when Fizz manhandled him. “C’mon Fizz, this was like the third time he tried asking you out and you didn’t notice. I had to step in! Besides, ya can’t argue with the result.”
There was a whirring noise and suddenly Blitzø was being drawn into an aggressively grateful kiss, Fizz’s arms wrapped tight around him.
“Just for that, I’m gonna put in a good word for you with M&M next time I see them,” Fizz said seriously, upon drawing back.
Blitzø grinned. “f*ck yeah, I’ve totally almost got them. Just need Moxxie to unclench his asshole enough for me to slide in and Mille and I are gonna have him eating out of our palms. That threesome is just around the corner, I can feel it.”
It wasn’t exactly unusual for him and/or Fizz to f*ck the customers. Often they were just people passing through looking for a fun experience in the city they were visiting. Some people from closer places came through once, tried, didn’t like, and were never seen again. And then there were the regulars. All locals, all kinksters, which made for a nice little impromptu community, all based around Blitzø and Fizz’s sex shop. They’d been considering hosting some kink parties, but the store had no space, and their tiny shoebox apartments weren’t exactly big enough for a gathering of 6+ people.
Millie and Moxxie were regulars, an adorable Dom-leaning and sub-leaning switchy couple, and Blitzø wanted in on that, at least once. Moxxie was always quick to splutter that he and his wife were monogamous when the bigger imp made his advances but Millie had covertly confirmed they were considering bringing a third into the bedroom. Blitzø was determined to be that third, and he kinda liked that Moxx made it such a challenge anyways. It would just make the end result all that much sweeter. He loved an eager sub who acted like they didn’t want it…
“So now that I’ve got my date with Ozzie, you gonna put the romance moves on Stolas?” Fizz's croaky voice broke through his thoughts.
“What?” Blitzø shook his head. “I already told you, it’s not like that. We just f*ck. At some point he’s gonna want something serious and I-”
Fizzarolli scoffed. “You can do serious if you want to. I mean, look at us.” He waved a hand between them. “We’ve been together for literal decades.”
“We live in separate apartments, wingman for each other, and hype each other up to go out with other people,” Blitzø pointed out. “It’s not like we have your typical every day relationship.”
“Soo not the point,” Fizz dismissed. “We do what works for us and it’s great! Just means there’s more room for you to get more serious with your birdy the way I know you’ve been dying to.”
Blitzø groaned. He did like Stolas. Okay, he even liked Stolas a lot. The guy was cute and smart and funny and startlingly incredible in the sack, despite his (rapidly shrinking) inexperience. Maybe Blitzø was just a sucker for people who entrusted him with doing stuff with them that they’d never tried before. Whatever, it didn’t matter, because… “I already told you, he’s totally f*cking monogamous. I mean, you’ve met him. You’ve talked to him. C’mon.”
Fizz crossed his arms and glared. “Did he tell you that he’s monogamous?”
Blitzø’s shoulders drooped. “Well, no.” He hadn’t asked. He didn’t want to ask because the sooner it was confirmed the sooner he’d have to face the reality that it was going to end at some point, probably in the near future. If they could just be in denial together a little bit longer, pretending there was nothing in the way of them staying together forever…
Fizz’s fingers snapped in front of Blitzø’s face, drawing him out of his pathetic thoughts. “You’re a f*cking idiot.”
“Thanks,” Blitzø said flatly, “exactly what I needed to hear from my partner right now.”
An impatient noise escaped the back of Fizzarolli’s throat. He cupped Blitzø’s face in his hands and gave him a kiss, to soften the sting. “Listen, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. No way there’s no feelings there. Besides, he knows you’re non-monogamous, right?”
“Well duh. I mean I talk about you all the time. He was actually really nervous to interact with you after I told him, it was f*cking adorable-”
“See?” Fizz interrupted, pressing another kiss to Blitzø’s lips to shut him up. “And you talk about him to me all the time, which is how I know you like him a lot too. You’re not deluding him about your relationship situation, and he clearly still likes you. He probably thinks you only do sex with other people. Have a f*cking conversation with him, alright?”
Blitzø frowned. “But what if-”
“Oh my f*cking Satan!” Fizz was exhausted. Having serious conversations with Blitzø was exhausting. He hoped Stolas knew what he was getting himself into. “Listen to me! You want more from that relationship so you’re gonna have to pull your big boy boxers on, use your words, and talk about it. If it goes well you’re gonna be glad you did it and if it goes badly then I’ll come over and let you cry on me while we eat ice cream and watch your stupid horse movies. Maybe you’ll even get a pity f*ck out of M&M.”
The frown deepened. “Ew, I don’t want a pity f*ck from Moxxie. I’ll take one from you and Ozzie though. That man looks like he could Dom the sad feelings out of anyone.”
Of f*cking course. “Well if it comes to that I’m sure we can work something out,” Fizz snorted, smiling a little despite himself. “Let me get through this date first, though. My point is that even if it does go bad, you’ll be okay. But also, it won’t go bad. Have I ever steered you wrong?” Blitzø’s mouth opened, his expression skeptical. “Don’t answer that!”
Finally, Blitzø smiled, just a small one. “Alright Fizz, you win. I’ll see if he’s free tonight.” He paused. “You know, Stolas actually pretends to like my horse movies.”
“Yet another clear sign that he’s stupid about you,” Fizz deadpanned, but he was smiling too. Tonight would absolutely be an excellent night, all around.
